Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I write blog so I deserve some porn?

Interesting pattern. I feel so "good boy" because I write blog, share ideas, maybe help other people. On the top of these feelings grows some distorted logic that says me: "you are so good boy - you deserve some porn". Then I relapse.

So, it looks like blogging about porn addiction leads to more porn addiction !!??

I think that blogging is just another obsession. I will be happy to live my life completely without computer and Internet, but probably this is impossible.

I left my career in the computers field - it was destroyed by porn. I work now in "just job", low paying, but away from computer. I slowly develop my new art career of sculptor in my free time.

Blogging is the only connection to my "old career". Oh, and I need to check emails, because I receive info about exhibitions and lectures by email.

When I check email, I also read some other people blogs on our porn addiction network. Sometimes I respond, sometimes I write my own post.

I also have plans to build some good sophisticated site on porn addiction, with forum, to develop community, to put weekly scheduled chat room. To use my best knowledge and experience to build this place. But sometimes I ask myself - is it good or bad? Is it good for humankind? Is it good for me? Maybe this will continue to feed my porn addiction. Maybe it is better to stay away from the Internet.

But practically, I need the email on a weekly basis. And I like to read blogs and to write my own. Your comments please...

My next post will be about new techniques that I've learned, that helped me to stay more days without porn.