Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Hypnosis or Self-Hypnosis

This kind of treatment not mentioned by these two books. It surprises me. Hypnosis sometimes used by some professional psychologists. They have to have official training and license to use Hypnosis. Maybe authors of these books haven't one. But at least to mention it as an option! Or to mention it as a wrong way. Nothing. No one word about Hypnosis.

So what I've found so far... I've found the blog of one guy who succeeded to quit porn addiction with the help of Self-Hypnosis course. He relapsed after 8 moths. But it is a big success anyway. Here is the link to his blog:


I've not tried Self-Hypnosis yet, and somehow feel suspicious from this method. Maybe one day... Regards Hypnosis (not Self-Hypnosis) I feel scared, because I give somebody else the option to have full control on my unconscious, to insert into my mind something, that I don't know about it. It's pure fear. I talked with somebody who practiced Hypnosis on other people (just talked), and he told me that he never agreed to be hypnotized himself. Probably these are fear and power and control issues.

Even if Hypnosis or Self-Hypnosis can solve a problem of porn addiction, it is unlikely to be long lasting solution for somebody who suffers from very bad situation around him. I mean bad hated job, bad marriage, bad something, no future etc. If you leave a situation around you as is – you will relapse to porn, no matter how effective Self-Hypnosis or Hypnosis is.

Here is another link to Self-Hypnosis that I've found. It is about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and Self-Hypnosis techniques. NLP (as I heard) is a powerful, but short lasting technique for personality modification.


Anyway, good luck to you. If you know more details or success stories of porn addiction cured by Hypnosis or Self-Hypnosis – please let me know, leave your comments with links.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

My porn addiction weekly cycle

I clearly observe a kind of weekly cycle in my porn addiction:

1-st to 6-th day. I feel and behave like a "Normal Man". Very busy. 6 shifts per week. I can read books on my job. So I do. A new book almost each week. 1-2 evening lectures in Sociology field every week. I can use my laptop on some shifts as well (no porn at work). 4-6 hours of sculpture (hobby) every week. Household and kids issues and interactions.

At the end of 6-th day the craving for porn builds up to very high level.

7-th day. I give up and see porn for 6 hours. Then, the rest of the day I feel guilty and upset.

Sometimes I try to stay away from porn 9-10 days. What happens then? I pass 6-th day, just busing myself with sculpture or visiting friends. 7-th and 8-th days I am very nervous and can't concentrate (withdrawal symptoms). 9-th day. I give up. Then, as usual I feel upset.

See you again. Please leave your comments and questions. My next post will be about hypnosis or self-hypnosis.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I put myself into a corner

What next in improving situation around me? My marriage? My boring wife?

As I've understood it just today - I put myself into a corner. I am a son of divorced parents. And I promised to myself not to divorce no matter what – for not to do it to my kids. But today I even don't want sex with my wife!!!!!! So, where is sexual energy goes? Porn is actually my escape from this dead-end situation.

On the other hand, I was always vulnerable to porn. From the early childhood (when I was not married to my boring wife!). So, what's going on here? Am I trying to fool myself? To blame my boring wife? Should I have to try to improve our marriage? I am trying and actually improved it greatly, kids and households issues work very well. But our souls, our talk, our sex (if any) – we are not in sync. My feeling is that I am wasting my life.

Maybe your situation is different.

Thanks for visiting and reading my blog. Please leave a comment, but not moralistic one. Something you believe relates to me, but not just plain moralistic brainwashing.

Chemical Addiction

This addiction is of chemical nature, accordingly to Dr. Skinner's book “Treating Pornography Addiction”. Under the state of sexual arousal the brain produces hormones of pleasure called endorphines. Then the brain consumes this bath of endorphines cocktail. It is hard to quit this addiction, because it's actually chemical. The difference from drugs is that brain produces chemicals for itself. These are bad news.

The question is how to quit. They say that you actually will remain vulnerable to this kind of temptation forever. If you succeed to quit, this means that you have to put yourself on the watch forever. So quitting is a process, even if you succeed. As the saying goes about alcoholics “once alcoholic – always alcoholic”.

So, how to quit? You know what – buy books and read them. Not just read but apply to yourself, work accordingly to these books. Maybe you will be more successful than I was. As I understand, the magic formula is to improve the situation around you, I mean really and greatly. This can be done through steps. For me this process started from job switch. It helped me greatly and I reduced my porn use from almost everyday to once per week or even once per ten days.

What next (for me)? My marriage?

Sunday, July 15, 2007

What works for me ...

Book is over, excitement and motivation goes down ... damn relapses come. I am not so stable as in days of reading/working with the book. Today I have time/situation that allow me to summarize my thoughts and experience.

Yes, I have a lot of tools today to improve my life and situation around me. But I have no tools for "craving", strong desire, it hits me from time to time. The craving is so strong, so, so strong!!!!

So, what works for me?

I have to be extremely busy !!! No spare time !! I visited "Economy & Ecology" course weekly, I had 2-3 books handy, I took seven shifts per week on my new job, squeezing them so I had one and half free day per week (but tired like hell). And all these are away from computer. I called my 3-4 friends almost everyday. Of course, I called my wife even more. I got back to my hobby of sculpture. I was very busy most of the week and very tired in my minimal spare time. And all this was able to keep me on the 9 days clean - 10th day relapse (no more!)

I became extremely tired of this schedule and made corrections to sleep more, to rest more - six shifts per week and less nights. Cravings (and relapses) popped up instantly.

Another thing that helped was the "openness" with close friends (I told my wife the whole story long before, thanks God). Actually, all of my close friends (and wife), know today about my problem and involved into some degree of discussion. One of them even asks me by phone almost everyday - how is it going with addiction? You can't imagine how helpful it feels when you can openly tell/discuss this with close friends!! No more barriers, no more strange explanations. You know - everyone of my friends told me in exchange about his own addiction or bad habit and how he fights it.

These were things that worked (and work) for me. Hope some of you can use or recommend it to others. See you again. My next post will be about another book in this field and how it complements my understanding today.

Book is over, but addiction still here ...

Sorry to say it this way. It is emotional, you know. It sounds like anti-advertisement. Of course, I am not so stupid to think, that passing some book or course will automatically and magically make me "another person", clean from porn addiction, like a newborn.

I am not kidding, I have to go back on time-machine to earliest years, because my porn/sex addiction started at age of six (6). Early porn addiction development is not unusual case (if not a common place indeed) as I know today from the professional books on this field.

I completed this workbook in the middle of June. It was indeed very powerful, intellectual and emotional support (and hope) for me. Encouraged by this book, I quit my computer job and found something more calm, with more spare time and much more free feeling. I lowered porn use from almost every day (on my hated computer job) to relapse every 10 days, in months April - June, when I was reading this book (and writing exercises of course).

The bottom line - I am equipped much better now to continue this struggle.

I have to stop here. More thoughts and facts will come soon. Please leave your comments and questions, please... See you again and I hope this helps to somebody else on this planet to live, to change himself, to accept himself and still to try to change (but not to hate himself, not to hate). Thank you all.

It looks like we have a community !!!

Hi. Thank you all people who read my blog and especially thanks to "Choose Me Love Me", who is a wife of porn addict and our unofficial Community Leader. Please visit her blog (see Links on the right). She collected there a number of porn addicts, their wives and different perspectives. Thumbs Up!!!